Batteries & Screwdrivers

I just had a badass dream. One of the most badass dreams I've ever had, and it happened in a matter of exactly 15 minutes - between snoozes. It was so badass that I actually STOPPED snoozing so I could type everything up. And the sucky part is, that I lost some of the earlier details while Windows was loading.

I was on the Earth Air Force, and he was part of some super human half-robot race that we were battling against for universal domination. Very Star Trek/District9-like. We met repeatedly in battle and something happened like love at first sight, and he was super hot and muscular. When I looked in his eyes I could tell he was different, and unlike his barbarous peers. People of his kind were unable to touch alkaline batteries and screwdrivers, so we scattered those items all over our base to ward off the super powerful creatures. I was very capable of deadly hand-to-hand combat, and some sort of high-ranking officer. YES!

One night, before we were to take off for the epic, final, most grandeur battle ever, he sneaks into my base and into my quarters. I can sense his presence, but when he comes into my room I pretend like I’m still sleeping because I’m absolutely petrified, yet at the same time enthralled. I’m holding two D-sized batteries in my fist under my pillow but I unclench them and move my hands because I realize that I don’t want to hurt him, and I don’t think he’ll hurt me. I keep fake-sleeping as he creeps around in my room and examines my belongings, and the longer he’s there the more intense everything becomes. Finally he comes over to my bed and he just looks at me for a while - hovering. And it’s awkward, but I’m still fake sleeping. And then he leans in and kisses me, one of those dreamy movie kisses of forbidden love. Then he touches my hand, and is burned by the residue of the battery acid. At this point I am forced to feign awakening, and he explains that he had sleep-flown there and awoken in my room.

Like destiny.

All at once, we understood the incredible danger we were now both in. We also knew that he must return to his necromancer-like people, as it was late in the night and both sides were set to embark very soon. We were feeling this pressure and emotional torment just as one of my colleagues bursts into the room shocked and confused. This is where I wake up.

Holy Crap!!!!