I've always had this thing about personal space. Whether it stems from a need to be territorial, or from growing up with plenty of it, there is certainly a need.
But then again I also like to share my personal space, so long as people ask for permission. Some people don't even need to ask for permission, it just depends on the closeness of the relationship.
So now that I have a room mate, our friends come over sometimes multiples times per week. And sometimes I know they're coming, and other times I have no idea that they're coming. And even though they're not here to hang out with me sometimes, I used to enjoy their company anyway and be excited to hang out. I used to think it was great, fun, exciting even! I think I was just happy to have friends in Seattle. Now I'm starting to realize that maybe this room mate thing isn't for me.
I'm starting to get irritated that they eat food without asking. Sure, they bring food over sometimes and share it with me. I get that, and appreciate it. And there are definitely times that I don't care at all about what they're eating of mine. But then there are OTHER TIMES when they eat things I'm planning to eat for lunch the next day, or was really excited about eating. Or they eat my favorite foods without even enjoying it, because they're high. And everything gets eaten all the same. I've stopped buying groceries now. IS THAT WHAT IT HAS TO COME TO?
Secondly, I can't stand it when someone asks to use my bathroom, and I say no, and they go ahead and use it anyway. Like seriously, I don't want to be a bitch and flip out, but it really fucking bothers me and it pisses me off when a friend thinks its funny to blatantly disregard my feelings. Why do people get to see my personal effects? When did I stop having a right to privacy in my own home?
Thirdly, I leave a password on my laptop for a reason. And I understand that some people don't, and really don't care if someone else uses their laptop. But I HAPPEN to LIKE privacy with my laptop, and if I didn't give a shit about people using my shit then I wouldn't have a password. RIGHT? Right. So today, I took a nap and left my laptop on in the living room. I didn't know people were coming over.
LO' AND BEHOLD
I COME OUT TO GET MY LAPTOP AND SOMEONE HAS BEEN USING IT.
What the fuck is going on. I guess everything is a learning experience. Having friends who don't give a shit about their personal space, probably won't help in my maintaining my personal space. Sometimes when you work customer service jobs you just want to go home and not talk to anyone. Hell, even if you don't work customer service sometimes you just want to come home and be as alone as possible. I'm at the point where I can't do that anymore here. I'm at the point where sometimes I don't even feel at home.
My gripe here is with my friends, and not my room mate. I don't mind if he eats my food, uses my shit, etc. So I don't know the best way to deal with it without losing the few friends I have in Seattle. And I don't think they'll understand. It fucking sucks. But at least I have a blog to vent about it.
I'm gonna give you a great big hug when I see you in 2 weeks.
ReplyDeleteI know what you mean though. My things are mine and unless I personally say it's okay to use/consume it, then people should respect that, honor my personal space, and figure something on their own and with their own resources. I remember my friend's brother slept on my bed one time without either of them asking me and I was pretty upset about that. One, they didn't bother asking (it was 2am but they still should've asked). Two, he had dreadlocks. Three, My bed is like my sacred place and needs to stay CLEAN and undisturbed.
Everyone's personal space varies and no matter how well you know that person, it is still common courtesy to ask for permission and honor the person's reply. Good post. It's okay to vent sometimes.